


I'd love to find a way to take command, I guess I'll take the easy way out

by AmyJorumStitchery



Series: He's the kind of love that makes a whirl in your mind [17]
Category: Actor RPF, Tim Curry - Fandom
Genre: Amy is just a little girl, Daddy Issues, Drunkenness, F/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Older Man/Younger Woman, True Love, juvenile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 19:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20430983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmyJorumStitchery/pseuds/AmyJorumStitchery
Summary: The "daddy-issue" titillates the hell out of me. But my desire isn't so much sexual as it is "please take care of me, I'm just a little girl"I would love to lie in his lap and suck my thumb at the same time - it's THAT level.And it's not something I practise in real life - not even with my man, but with Tim it's vital!I never knew I had this inclination, before Tim appeared in my life and turned eveything upside down. And now, all I want is to be his little Babygirl, curled up in his embrace, making absolutely NO decision for myself.I also wanted him to say my name, so I wrote it a bit excessively. And the thing is "Amy" isn't even my name. She is someone who was born out of the anagram of Timothy James Curry. But she is me, and I am her. And I prefer Tim saying Amy instead of my "real" name. It's more exciting for me.You can imagine my squeal whenever I watch 'Congo' and he says "I will pay for Amy to go home."Jeezus fucking christ! 🌸





	I'd love to find a way to take command, I guess I'll take the easy way out

**Author's Note:**

> The "daddy-issue" titillates the hell out of me. But my desire isn't so much sexual as it is "please take care of me, I'm just a little girl"  
I would love to lie in his lap and suck my thumb at the same time - it's THAT level.
> 
> And it's not something I practise in real life - not even with my man, but with Tim it's vital!
> 
> I never knew I had this inclination, before Tim appeared in my life and turned eveything upside down. And now, all I want is to be his little Babygirl, curled up in his embrace, making absolutely NO decision for myself. 
> 
> I also wanted him to say my name, so I wrote it a bit excessively. And the thing is "Amy" isn't even my name. She is someone who was born out of the anagram of Timothy James Curry. But she is me, and I am her. And I prefer Tim saying Amy instead of my "real" name. It's more exciting for me.
> 
> You can imagine my squeal whenever I watch 'Congo' and he says "I will pay for Amy to go home." 
> 
> Jeezus fucking christ! 🌸

_"Ames?"_

_"Tim."_ My voice is fragile, I feel like I wanna cry. I miss him so damn much, and I just want to be with him. _"Tim..!"_

_"Amy, what's wrong?"_

_"Please come and get me, I don't know what happened..."_

He shots up straight in the sofa, _"What do you mean, are you ok?"_  
  
I shut my eyes to try and evade the spinning that's taken control of my world. I went out with a friend to have a few drinks, but I knew several hours ago that I crossed that line when I downed my third tequila.

_"Tim, please, I'm so fucking drunk."_

_"Alright, alright. Where are you?"_

I actually manage to pick up his worried tone, and I hate myself for doing this to him.  
I hate myself for doing this to myself too. I hate myself for being so damn weak and afraid all the time that I have to fill myself to the brim with booze to try and escape myself for a couple of hours.

_"I drank too much...and everything is fucking spinning around..."_

_"You're not alone are you? You have Helen with you, right?"_

Without knowing why, I start giggling and try to sit down where there wasn't a chair, so I crash down right on the ground, and drop my phone in the process. That made me laugh out loud.

_"Oh for fucking hell!"_

I hear Helen's voice as she bends down to help me sit up.

_"Hey you're here!"_ I kind of half sing in my drunken state.

_"Well of course I am, I just went to the bathroom, I told you that."_

She fishes up my phone, and see on the screen that I'm talking to Tim. She puts the phone to her ear.

_"Tim? Hi, it's Helen."_

He is worried, it's obvious.

_"Helen, what's going on? Where are you?"_

I feel like dancing for some reason, and I try and stand up, but Helen keeps me down on the ground with a strong arm.

_"Amy, SIT. DOWN,"_ she hisses through her teeth. _"I can't have you running around like this."_

She turns her attention to the phone again, _"Tim, Amy is drunk as hell, can you please come pick her up?"_

_"Where are you?"_

_"We're outside 'Wildcat Gin', they fucking threw us out,"_ she sighs. _"And Amy has been drinking like there is no tomorrow."_

I hear Helen in the background, and it makes me so glad that I have her, and that she hasn't left me. She is the only one that's been really adamant as the others gradually drew themselves further and further away from me, like I was a damn leper. She is the only one that isn't afraid of my chaos.  
I know I can be difficult, and hard to be around sometimes, and I always have to be the drunkest one, like I'm in a competition with myself. But I don't do any of it on purpose. I just feel broken and scared all the time, and I can't help it. I just try in the best way I know to keep the emptiness away.  
I know something isn't right in me, and I know I need help. I'm sprawling all over the place.  
But if I had a condition that was visibly from the outside, like a broken leg och cancer, people would have much more patience with me, and they wouldn't shy away like they do. Like they're afraid I'll infect them or something.

But Helen has stayed. And Tim...

_"Alright, just stay with her, and I'm gonna be there in about 15 minutes, ok?"_ Tim says.

_"Yeah absolutely."_

Helen sighs and hangs up the phone, and puts it in my bag. Then she helps me up from off the ground and drags me to a bench nearby.

_"Was that Tim? Is he coming? I fucking need him to come,"_ I say as I plopp down.

_"Yes. He is coming, don't worry, sweetie."_

_"I need a cigarette, Hel,"_ I say at the same time as I try and stand up.

She grabs me by the arms and pushes me backwards.

_"If you sit down and sit still, I'll get you a cigarette, ok?"_

I nod and Helen lights one for me. I sit in silence as I smoke, all the exuberant feelings are slowly draining and I just feel beat.

Tim shows up about 20 minutes later and I don't even notice him until he sits down beside me on the bench and puts his hand under my chin and raise my face. I light up and feel a sense of "whole-ness" in my chest. That feeling I always chase so desperately with alcohol.

_"Oh Amy,"_ he sighs. _"Why do you do this to yourself?"_

He cradles me to his chest and rubs his hand over my upper arm as if to warm me up. It's chilly outside, I actually feel that, but I don't really care.

_"You're so cold, my love,"_ he whispers and pecks kisses on me.

He turns to Helen who's standing infront of us,_ "Thank you so much for staying with her."_

_"Well of course!"_ she says._ "I could never leave her."_

Tim unzips his hoodie and puts it on me, then he helps me to get my arms in the sleeves before zipping it all the way up. I feel complete when I'm beside him, with his hoodie wrapping around me and warming me up from the inside. His scent invading my senses in the most positive way.  
He stands up and brings me up beside him, I wobble and lean into him.

_"I'm taking this one home," _he says and squeezes me closer. _"Can I give you a lift or anything, Helen?"_

_"Yeah come with us and we'll have a late night party, Hel!"_ I exclaim and reach out my arms to her.

_"I think you've had enough, sweetie. You're not going anywhere than to bed."_  
She turns to Tim, _"Thank you very much, but I'm gonna go meet up with some friends."_

_"Ok,_ Tim says and grabs me tighter to keep me from falling over. _"Thank you again though. I'm very grateful for you."_

_"Take care, Ames,"_ Helen says.

_"Yeah see ya around, Hel,"_ I respond and wave a drunken hand in the air.

_"You've got everything, Amy?"_ Tim asks as Helen turns and walks the other way._ "Your phone? Wallet?"_

_"Yes sir,"_ I say confidentially and click my tongue. _"Is all here."_

_"Come on, let's get you home."_

_"Ok..."_ I say sheepishly and feel myself relax in his presence.

_"Why do you keep doing this to yourself, baby?"_ Tim asks as he walks me to the car. His voice is concerned and comforting. _"I thought you were on a good path right now."_

I don't say anything, and Tim continues talking.

_"It hurts me so much when you don't feel well, Amy. I wanna help you, but I don't know how, 'cause you don't talk to me, you just suffer in silence, and it's so stupid, 'cause I **wanna** be here for you. I **wanna** take care of you."_

_"I know...I'm sorry..."_ I mumble.

_"Don't be sorry,"_ Tim says and kisses my hair. _"I just wish you'd talk to me, I just wish you'd confide in me and trust me enough to let me help you."_

_"I don't know what's wrong in me, I just feel like I'm shattering in a million pieces from the inside all the time, and..."_

I struggle to find some words that will make sense, because I _wanna_ have him in my life. I_ need _him in my life. He has already helped me so much, but I still feel broken on the inside.

_"And what, baby?"_ he asks. _"Come on, talk to me."_

_"I don't know...I'm a defect human being. And I'm so afraid all the time, and that's why I tend to binge drink just to try and keep the chaos away."_

_"Amy, my love,"_ he whispers. _"My absolute perfect Amy. I wish I could make you understand how important you are to me, how deeply I love you."_

I am very emotional in my drunken state and I feel my chin involuntarily tremble as I fight to keep warm tears from racing down my cheeks. But it's useless, I know that. I might as well fight with myself not to breathe.  
I don't want him to see that I'm crying. It's a sign of weakness to me, so I cover my face with shaking hands and feel like I'm dangling one foot over a bottomless abyss. In this moment I'm breaking apart again. I'm dying as he puts his arms around me. I am so small compared to him and he is so big and warm, and he holds me together as I shatter in tiny fragments over and over again.

_"My Amy,"_ he lulls.

I sob into his chest, exhausted as I've fought tirelessly with the world for the last few hours without taking a break, and the alcohol has been my makeshift source of power and grandeur. My legs wobble and I cling to him like he's my soldier boy who's about to go to war and I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

_"Tim,"_ I whimper. _"Tim."_

He buries his face in the crook of my neck, inhales deeply and picks me up from the ground. I instinctively wrap my legs and arms around him.

_"Can we just go home?"_ I sniffle with a voice that doesn't quite hold up._ "I'm so tired."_

Tim is calming me down and affectionately making quiet shushing noises as he caresses me over my hair.

_"It's alright, Amy. I'm here, I'm here."_

He keeps walking with me clinging to him.

_"I'm gonna take you home, and it will all be alright. Don't worry, I'm here for you."_

I nod desperately and he holds me even tighter.

_"I'm here for you, Amy, and I'm always gonna be._

When we reach the car, he bends down a little without letting go of me to open the passenger door, and expertly maneuvers me down in the seat. Then he helps to buckle me up and stays knelt down beside me. I smile through my tears when I see the way he's looking at me, how much he loves me.

_"Babygirl,"_ he whispers and smiles a bit ruefully._ "I don't wanna see my Amy in tears."_

I smile too as tears fall from my eyes, and I don't even care how I must look in that moment. My obvious tear-puffy eyes and my flushed cheeks don't bother me when I see Tim's eyes and how he adores me either way.  
I'm dressed as a slob in my opinion, with my hair in a messy bun, very little make up, and a pair of baggy jeans that I love. But the most precious thing on me, beside Tim's hoodie, is his boxers. One of his many Jockey boxers, which I love to lounge around in. Tim knows this, but doesn't find it strange. Endearing is more of the word, since I need him close, always, in some way. And he knows that.

His hand rest on my cheek and I close my eyes for a second, leaning my head to rest gently and appreciatively on him.  
He leans in and kiss away tears on my cheek and I reach out my hand so that I can touch his face, he is so beautiful my man, and I'm so thankful for having him in my life.

He stands up and closes the car door, then makes his way over to the driver's side and sits down. As soon as he starts the car, his right hand finds mine and he spends the entire drive home caressing my hands as they rest on my lap.

***

I don't know how long the drive home is, I must've fallen asleep, and I wake slowly as I sense the car coming to a halt on his driveway.  
I moan a bit helplessly, I don't feel good, and in the back of my mind I wish I hadn't touched any hard liquor tonight and that I just would have stayed with drinking beer.  
I always go extra crazy when I drink hard liquor, like a barrier that snaps after I've finished my first drink, and I never know what will happen. I never trust myself in that state. It's like I'm lying to myself with every gulp I greedily swallow.

Tim turns off the engine and turns to me.

_"How do you feel, Babygirl?"_ he asks and touches me. _"Is the world still spinning?"_

I moan my respons. I just wanna take a shower and go to bed. He lovingly runs his hand over my knee before stepping out of the car to help me out. I am so thankful that he is here and that I don't have to be alone tonight. We didn't even have plans to see each other tonight, but he is always the one I call when I need someone.  
And I love that although I asked him to take me home, he didn't drive to my place, he took me to his place. He just knew. He knew what I meant, and I love him for that.

He reaches my side and opens the door for me, then he bends down a little and curls his hands under my armpits to stand me up.  
His touch is caring, warm, and I lean into him and wrap my arms around him.

_"Thank you,"_ I whisper.

_"Don't thank me, Amy,"_ he says and kiss my forehead. _"Of course I'm gonna take care of you when you need it."_

We walk up to his house, and when we're inside, I sit down on the first step of his stairs. I sigh and think out loud;

_"I'm never drinking again."_

He chuckles a little and takes my shoulder bag in his hand as I start tugging at my own clothes. I need them off so I can take a shower and crawl under the covers.  
I've always felt very comfortable around Tim, fully clothed or naked, drunk or sober, so I unabashedly strip in his hall and make a pile with my clothes.

_"I see you snuck into my underwear drawer again, Ames,"_ he quips.

I look down at myself.

_"Oh yeah!"_ I say, like I temporarily forgot that I had his Jockeys on me. _"You don't mind, do you?"_

He steps into my personal space.

_"No, I don't, babygirl,"_ he says as he unclips my bra and then places his hands on my shoulders to slide the straps off. _"You actually look very adorable in them. And it's strangely arousing too..."_

We both chuckle and his hands have now gone to my cheeks and he caresses his thumbs on my face.

_"Now, go and take that shower, baby,"_ he says in a low voice. _"You smell like a little brewery."_


End file.
